Autumn to Ashes
by Hamaguri
Summary: One shot AU- Kagome falls into a deep depression and finds comfort in an unexpected friend; a dog. (NOT beastiality!) Not a typical Inu as a dog fic either...at least I don't think it is...


Autumn to Ashes  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own IY or its characters. They belong to Miss Takahashi...lucky bitch... I also don't own the title, I used the name of a band.  
  
AN: I know, I should be working on my other stories, but they're all at lighthearted chapters right now, and I needed something down, dirty, and angsty. So, here's the result. This is what happens when Hama falls into a deep, lonely depression and starts personifying the dogs she walks -_- ; Just...don't ask. This is not intended to be a beastiality fic, so don't freakin' flame me or report me for abuse, because it's not intended to be taken that way. It's supposed to show the beauty of two souls finding and comforting each other. Also, a Samoyed is a breed of dog. If you don't know what it looks like, they're large-ish dogs, with pointed ears and noses. They're covered in long white fur. I always imagined that if Inu were a dog, he'd probably be a sammy. Also, a "dam" is used to describe an animal who has given birth, aka: a mother. The characters are rather OOC as well, but it's an angsty AU, so if you got a problem, tough. This is my first one shot too! Anyway, go read it now.  
  
Kagome sighed heavily, clicking the lock on the door. Loud barking could be heard through it, menacing, threatening, defensive. She fumbled with the deadbolt, straining to hold the storm door open in the cold, pouring rain. The dog continued to bark, grating harshly on her nerves.  
  
"Mou! Relax Jack! It's just me!" She yelled at the door in frustration. The pitch of the bark quickly changed from defensive to excited, with yips and whines in the mix. Kagome just rolled her eyes as the deadbolt finally gave way. She twisted the knob and pushed the heavy door open. The white muzzle of a Samoyed greeted her, trying desperately to nudge the door open. "Back up." She stated flatly, and the dog obliged, squeaking again with excitement. She quickly got inside and shut the door. She knew better than to trust the dog not to slam through the storm door into the street.  
  
Jack was tearing around the kitchen in excitement. 'She's here! She's here, she's here, she's here, she's here, she's here!!' He nearly knocked over the garbage in his frenzy.  
  
"Jack!" She snapped, his excitement making her terrible mood even worse. She stood in front of the fridge. " Come here you nut!"  
  
The dog happily obliged, jumping up to rub against her legs like a cat before standing still and waiting to be patted. She ran her fingers roughly along his sides, scratching lightly with her nails. His leg twitched with the pleasure of it, earning an amused giggle from the girl.  
  
She sighed heavily, smacking him lightly in the side to signal that they were done for the moment. "Good pup, Jack. I know you wanna walk, but I gotta let Stupid out first." With that, she leaned over the crate in the corner. It contained a jumping, yapping, overly excited American Bull Dog puppy.  
  
Jack tilted his head to the side at Kagomes heavy sigh. 'She's been doing that a lot lately. I think something's wrong.' She was defiantly looking sadder as the days wore on. He never noticed it before, though, so wrapped up in his own issues. Recently, his owner decided to get this new puppy. Neither he, nor Kagome seemed to like him very much, but they tried their best to be patient with him. Sometimes his jealousy got the better of him, and he got rough with the little pup though.  
  
She cast a mischievous smile his way. " Ready? You gonna get him?" She asked him playfully. Even her playful tone was dulled in comparison to a few months ago.  
  
He wagged his tail and ducked into a play bow. She pinched the door mechanism and released the barking ball of terror. " Get 'im!" She encouraged the larger dog. The pup immediately went for Jack, nipping at his paws and belly. Jack growled playfully, grabbing the still loose nape of the pup and pushing him to the ground. They snapped at each other and wrestled around a little more before the puppy yelped in pain. Jack was being too rough, his hackles raised and teeth bared in aggression, rather than play.  
  
"Okay Jack! Enough pup." Kagome soothed the upset dog with her voice, placing her calming hands on his head. She began stroking his ears gently, and he turned his attention away from the annoying fur ball to her touch. "I know, he's a pain in the ass."  
  
He melted into the caress of his ears. 'She's always so kind and gentle. I wish I knew what was making her so sad.' She knelt down and continued stroking his white fur, chasing away his frustration and jealousy.  
  
"You know you're my fav, puppy." She cooed to him. His tongue flicked out and licked her cheek. She giggled, wiping the slimy saliva from her face with her already damp sleeve. "Aw, thanks for the kiss." She ruffled his fur before standing to let the puppy out.  
  
"Dammit Flick!" She shouted as the puppy peed on the floor. "We're two seconds away from being outside!" She opened the door to the backyard and shoved him roughly out by the nape. "Kami, I fucking hate that dog." She grabbed the mop and wiped up the mess before joining the oblivious puppy outside.  
  
Jack grinned mentally. He wandered to the storm door, peering through the fogging glass at the pair outside. Flick was tearing around the yard, stirring up leaves despite the chilling rain. Once and a while he would return to Kagomes side and pull on her pant leg with his teeth. Each time he did this, he was only rewarded with a rough shove, or a firm but gentle push into submission. Even with this puppy that obviously annoyed her to the core, she was patient and tender. 'Too bad she's not a dog, she'd be a great dam. What? No! I can't think like that, she's a human; I'm a dog, that's the way it is. Dogs aren't supposed to think like that about humans. Besides, it was gross, a dog and a human? Disgusting.'  
  
He whined involuntarily at his thoughts. The girl turned her sad, brown eyes on him at the sound. She smiled reassuringly. He melted. The one being an animal could not lie to was himself. During this trying time, when everyone else seemed to be turning all their attention to the new pup, she alone lavished more attention on him then she ever had before. She made him feel loved again, something he cherished more than anything else in the world.  
  
He saw her shiver as a chill wind pounded the rain on her harder. For whatever reason, she didn't bring her umbrella out with her. She whistled loudly to the puppy, who was busy trying to eat fallen acorns.  
  
"Come on Flick; let's go in now!" She called to him, opening the storm door a crack. "Jack, stay." She stated sternly to him. He didn't really need to be asked, he didn't want to leave her side. He wanted to find out why she was so sad, and make it go away.  
  
The puppy charged into the house, shaking the icy rain from his coat. Kagome followed quickly after, closing both the doors, locking the wooden one. She shuddered away a chill. Jack followed her into the kitchen where Flick was eagerly sniffing at the bowls on the floor. She snatched his up, going to a cupboard and measuring some dry kibble into it. She placed it back on the floor, where the puppy scarfed it up eagerly.  
  
She flopped heavily onto the floor to wait for Flick to finish eating so she could stuff him back into his crate and take Jack for his walk. The said dog joined her at the fridge, laying beside her and putting his head in her lap. Her hand danced through his fur lazily, her gaze fixated on the floor. Jack could see a few glistening tears tugging at the corners of her eyes. His heart jumped. 'Humans cry when they're upset.' He'd seen Kagome upset before, but never to the point of tears. Even when her scent was laced heavily with depression, he had never seen her cry. 'Something is REALLY wrong.' He wanted to do something, ANYTHING to make her feel better. All he could think of to do was whine, and place a paw over the arm that she was stroking him with. She smiled down at him, a few sorrowful tears escaping her eyes. She sniffed and rubbed her nose.  
  
"All right, Stupid's done. Wanna go for a walk?" She jumped to her feet, nearly trampling the white dog. 'What was that!?' she screamed mentally. 'It was almost like, like he was trying to comfort me. That's silly, he's just a dog, and they don't understand stuff like that.' She shook the thoughts from her head as she forcefully stuffed the struggling Flick back into his crate. Of all the dogs she had to walk during the day, Jack truly was her favorite. Not only was he a beautiful dog, with shiny, silky white fur, but she loved his personality. Back when she first started her job as a dog walker, he was a defiant, excitable, aggressive adolescent pup. His owners never bothered to get him fixed, so he was stubborn to the core. She was mildly irritated with him at first, he always snarled and barked when other dogs or men passed by them as they walked. But her infinite patience soon won him over, and she could calm him with a simple and soothing "easy pup." He apparently only acted that way with her, for her boss, who covered for her on sick days (it was a small company) still told horror stories of a dog that pulled too much and went haywire at even a sniff of another dog. 'I tamed the wild beast.' She smiled at the thought, that she could have such a profound influence where others had failed.  
  
Even that realization, however, could not bring her out of the deep-rooted depression she had found herself in. After her first year of college, her family could not afford to send her there on top of paying for the expenses of the shrine. So she was supposed to take the time off to work and earn money in order to return to school. This dog walking job was the only one she could get at the time, that didn't involve rotting behind a desk or cash register all day, doing meaningless redundant tasks. It was good work; she had fun playing with the dogs and being outside all day. But there was one small problem. Besides the mail carriers, she was all but cut off from regular human contact. All her new and old friends were away at college, and they were all busy with schoolwork. The financial strain proved to be more than originally thought, because they were also making plans to move out of the shrine and into a smaller house. Her mother and grandfather were wrapped up in getting everything ready to sell. Lastly, she had broken up with her boyfriend of five years. She felt shattered inside, empty, abandoned. It felt as if she had no one who cared for her anymore.  
  
She grinned at herself out of pity. 'You fool, getting so worked up over a boy.' But scolding herself at being depressed over Hojo just added to her agony. "I don't know how much more of this I can take." She said aloud as she and Jack trudged through the rain. She noticed his ears suddenly swivel in her direction. "Are you actually listening, or just responding to my voice?"  
  
She was more than a little surprised when the dog stopped walking and turned his head to look at her. He bumped her free hand with his wet nose, whining softly. Her mouth hung open, shock filling her eyes. 'What if...what if he does understand?' He cocked his head to the side when the tears welled up in her eyes again. "Jack." She whispered. "Why doesn't anyone love me anymore?"  
  
At no other time in his short life had the dog wished his words could be understood by human ears. 'Don't think that.' He felt crushed inside at her sadness. 'I still care for you Kagome. Don't ever think that!' But there was nothing he could do, no way for his comfort to reach her the way he wanted it to. So he bumped her hand again, and pulled her to keep walking.  
  
She let herself be pulled. They walked the same exact route every day, so she knew Jack could just drag her through the whole thing without even thinking. Jack struggled internally as they walked. He didn't even stop to mark his territory as often as he normally did. Kagome didn't notice, she was too wrapped up in her anguish. There had to be something he could do. He frantically searched his memory. His mother told him and his sibling's stories of dogs that had done amazing things. He recalled one where a dog had actually changed into a human, if only for a day. Could he do the same? He wanted to become human, for her. If only to hug her the way she did him so many times and tell her everything was okay. 'Oh, Kami! If you're listening, help me find a way.'  
  
The gods were listening that day, for whatever reason. Perhaps because these souls cared so greatly for each other, their only gap being the difference in species between them. But the gods work in mysterious ways, and often their blessings, at first, seem like curses.  
  
Neither the dog, nor the girl, had the presence of mind to remember to look before crossing the street. The wet rain and fallen leaves made it almost impossible for the truck to completely stop in time. Jack noticed it at the last second. He spun around and leapt at the girl in a desperate attempt to push her back out of harms way. He just barely managed to clear her of the truck before it struck him in the side. Kagome fell backwards, cracking her head hard against the pavement, forcing her unconscious.  
  
It was warm where she was. She could hear a chorus of birds singing, a flock of noisy geese overhead. The breeze picked up and danced through her raven hair. Kagomes eyes fluttered open, revealing a beautiful autumn landscape. The surrounding trees were ablaze with orange, red, and yellow. She was leaning against someone, for they shifted a little behind her. She glanced up to see a soft, handsome face staring back at her. His golden eyes were shaded slightly by his long silky white hair. Whoever this person was, he was cradling her protectively in his arms. She blinked a few times, sitting up to get a clear view of the stranger. He was probably close to her age, if not slightly older. His muscular body was clad in a blood red haori. Kagome was shocked to see velvety, pointed, dog- ears poking out from his silvery locks.  
  
"Where am I? Who are you?" She couldn't remember how she got here. The last memory she recalled was a giant truck bearing down on her and... "Jack!?" Worry tinted her voice.  
  
The stranger merely smiled. "It's okay." He said, laughing slightly. His voice was deep, soft, comforting. "Actually, Jack is not his true name. His mother named him Inu Yasha. But humans don't really understand Dog that well, so no one ever really knew his real name."  
  
'What is wrong with this guy!?' Frustration played across her face. "Look, I can't stay here. I have to find out what happened to him. What if he's hurt?"  
  
The boy closed his eyes, shaking his head and laughing again. "You still don't understand." He gazed into her frightened eyes, gently tucking a few loose strands of her hair behind her ear with clawed fingers. "Everything is going to be okay now."  
Kagome studied his face, his eyes. Something flickered through her memory. 'His eyes...I've seen those eyes somewhere.' She fought to catch the breath that suddenly decided to elude her. "J-Jack?"  
  
His smile widened. "I told you, my real name is Inu Yasha."  
  
Her eyes grew as large as saucers. "You're okay!" She grabbed him into a tight hug. He blushed slightly as she pushed away to look at him again. "What happened to you? You're not a dog anymore?"  
  
Worry creased his brow slightly, but he maintained his smile. "You were so sad. Every day I saw you wasting away more and more. Today, you nearly broke my heart with your pain. I wanted to make it go away, I wanted to see you happy again. So I asked the gods for help. This is what they gave us." He knew these words to be true with every fiber of his being. It was a knowledge that only came to one near death.  
  
It was a little overwhelming. The only thing she could think of to say was: "Why?"  
  
Inu Yasha looked to the ground, a light blush staining his cheeks. "When Flick came to live with us, I felt so lonely and neglected. You, however, made me feel loved. I wanted you to feel loved again too." He twirled one of her ebony strands in his fingers, trying to muster up the courage to say the words. "Human emotions are so complex, I can barely breathe, let alone say it.' "Even if no one else in the world seems to care about you anymore...I still care about you."  
  
He looked up into the deep brown pools that were her eyes. His human heart fluttered and increased its rhythm. Her once frightened and confused gaze had melted into one of understanding and anticipation. She was waiting for him to say it. He swallowed hard. "Because..." 'Why is this so flipping hard?' "Because I love you." He spat out finally.  
  
It felt to Kagome as if her heart stopped. A million thoughts were buzzing through her head. To her, Jack, er, Inu Yasha was her best friend, not just another dog. Her thoughts darted through the past few months, and it dawned on her that she almost treated him, and thought of him as a person. Someone who understood when she was sad or happy. When she spoke to him, he seemed to comprehend the words. She always chased away the thoughts and emotions towards him. 'A human falling for a dog? It's just bizarre, not to mention socially unacceptable.' But this, this person cradling her in his arms, was no brainless dog. This was a complex being with their own thoughts and emotions. Surely this could not be wrong. ' I love him too, how can love be wrong?' She leaned into him, burying her face in his warm chest. 'This cant be.'  
  
"I love you too." She said, her words muffled in the folds of his haori. At first she was unsure if he even heard her. But his sudden jump in heartbeat, and protective arms wrapping around her answered her unspoken question. She smiled into his chest. For the first time, in a long time, she felt truly happy.  
  
He held her for what felt like hours. She didn't want to move, didn't want to leave his comforting embrace. He sighed heavily, forcing her to look up at him in concern.  
  
"I don't know how long we have, to be here." He said, gazing up at the sky.  
  
Worry flickered across her face. "Do we have to go back there?" She frowned.  
  
He nodded sadly. "I don't know how we got here in the first place, but I imagine we can't stay here forever."  
  
As if on cue, the sky darkened and a rushing purple portal opened before them. They both stood. Another, white portal opened beside it. Kagome felt her heart breaking again. She knew the purple led back to her world, and the white, to the afterlife. She didn't know how she knew, she just did. Recalling the accident, she realized exactly who the white portal was for. She spun around to Inu Yasha, fear and sadness calling tears to her eyes once more.  
  
"Please." She whimpered. "I don't want to go back there without you. Not now that I have you.:  
  
He smiled sadly, trying his hardest to make it genuine. "We cannot be together in that world, you know that." She looked to the white portal. "And I won't allow you to throw the rest of your life away for me." He cupped her cheek in his rough hand. "I know you're very tired, but you need to be strong now. Worry not for me, we'll be together again." He pulled something out from the sleeve of his shirt. It was a smallish woven bracelet. He tied it carefully around her left wrist. " I made this while you were sleeping. So you know when you wake that this wasn't just a dream."  
  
Tears finally escaped her eyes. She whimpered as her tied he bracelet. ' I can't let him go now!' She clutched desperately to the red fabric, refusing to let go of him. "No!" she shouted.  
  
"You have to go now! Or you'll never wake up! He shouted to her. " The dream world was collapsing around them. If they did not go soon, they would be swallowed up by nothingness. He growled, grabbing her shoulders roughly and pushing her into the purple portal. Her shocked and hurt face haunted him as she disappeared into the violet mist. He shook his head before jumping into his own portal.  
  
Two months after the accident  
  
The bright sun and cheerful weather did nothing to lift Kagome's spirits. After the accident, she reluctantly resigned from the dog walking job. How could anyone trust her with their dog after what happened to Jack? Everyone tried to reassure her that she wasn't to blame, but she couldn't believe them. It was her fault; there was no getting around it. She strolled down the street, the same one she used to walk him on. Every night she dreamed of him, the place where they shared their souls with each other. Tears burned at her eyes, and she fought to keep them at bay. His face, his voice, his feel, his smell, they all haunted her. She felt as if she was constantly dreaming, like this was just some nightmare that she would never wake up from. Sadness burned briefly into anger. 'Baka!' She thought. 'He wanted to make me feel loved? Then why did he abandon me? He's only made things worse!' She played mindlessly with the woven bracelet, still around her wrist. Despair washed over her. 'I want to die. Please, Kami, take this pain away from me.'  
  
Once more, the gods smiled down on the raven-haired girl. She came to the end of a long, tall fence. This was the road where they were hit. She looked both ways before crossing, not noticing the stranger leaning calmly against the fence as it stretched perpendicular away from her. She stepped into the street, still lost in her misery.  
  
The stranger sweat dropped. "Hey hey! I didn't think I'd been gone so long you wouldn't know me!"  
  
Kagome's heart stopped at that voice. She froze mid-stride. 'That voice, I know that voice!' She spun around, the embodiment of surprise and shock. There stood Inu Yasha, leaning casually against the fence with his arms crossed over his chest. The sadness no longer rested in his eyes. The spark of mischief that always tinted them before replaced it instead. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't move, she just gaped.  
  
"What? No hug?" He grinned sardonically, opening his arms in welcome. Kagomes body reacted on its own, throwing itself into his embrace. The only sound escaping her gasping mouth was a laugh of pure joy. He lifted her off the ground and spun around, laughing just as joyfully.  
  
When the moment passed, Kagome couldn't help but ask. "How did this happen?"  
  
Inu Yasha's smile just widened. "Does it really matter?"  
  
"No. I suppose it doesn't. But, you can't exactly walk around looking like that, what with the dog-ears and all."  
  
He cocked his head to the side. "You're the only one who can see me like this. But if you'd prefer..." He shook himself violently all over. In the frenzy of motion, his hair faded from silvery white into the darkest black. When he stood still once more, his dog-ears were replaced my normal human ears, and the golden eyes were now deep violet. "This is how everyone else sees me."  
  
"Mmm. I like you better with your dog-ears, they're cute." She blushed.  
  
His blush mirrored hers. "Okay." He shook again, returning his previous features. "Better?"  
  
She nodded enthusiastically, wrapping her arms around his neck. "You're still my fav, puppa."  
  
He groaned. "Don't call me that, I'm not technically a dog anymore."  
  
She reached up and gently rubbed one of his ears. He leaned into her hand, a rumbling purr emanating from his chest. She giggled. "Yeah, dogs don't purr."  
  
"Aw, shut up." He said before pulling her into their first kiss.  
  
I love you, The End.  
  
*Deep sigh* There you have it. Ten pages of gut wrenching angst and pointless fluff. I was originally going to end it with them both dying or something, but I'm too much of a sucker for happy endings. ^_^ Not my best writing, I admit, even a little corny now that I read it again. *shrug* I know they're majorly OOC (especially IY) but I wasn't really trying to keep them in character. Anyway, please read and review, and don't worry, I will update CoFP soon, just have patience. 


End file.
